Saturday, December 6, 2008

bunda, my guardian angel




just had a long freezing day, me and my sister decided to make the best out of it still tho :) we went out anyway. on the way home while waiting for the bus, came this little girl with her mother. i know she was freezing but somehow it didn't really matter as long as her mother was with her. she was smiling and laughing and had a good time knowing no matter what happens, her mother will always keep her warm. and just like that, i wish i was home. i wish i was with my mom.

i miss her warm hugs. i miss the way she kisses my pain away. i miss the way she comfort me. i miss the way she throws away black clouds that cover the sunshine from shining through my window. i miss the way she hold me tight and tell me that everything is going to be okay. i miss the way she wishes to take all my pain away. i miss the way she does it.

she makes me realize that i am more than just a person. i am God's given for her. i am her most valuable treasure. she risked her life for getting me into the world. she was in that life and death situation when she introduced me to the world.

she loves me when i wasn't nice at her. she loves me when i smile. she loves me when i cry. she loves me when i make mistakes. she loves me when i repeat them. she loves me for being lazy. she loves me for being dumb. she loves me for being smart. she loves me for being her daughter. she loves me for who i am. she loves me no matter what.

she prays for my happiness when she herself hurts sometimes. she wishes me good health when she is ill. she smiles for me even if she feels like crying. she is strong for me when i am weak. she is the air that i breathe when i suffocate. she is the love that i have. she is the love that i share.

20 years already. i wish i knew her sooner than that.

now, im here in another country. another part of the world. im far away from her. what if she needs me? what if she needs shoulders to cry on? what if she needs to be comforted?

she told me that it was the hardest thing to see me go away for college. but then she said
'parents shouldn't be selfish to keep their children away from getting their dreams, and i'm going to be strong to stop myself from doing so'

if there is one thing that i can do right now, is to hold her tight and tell her that im okay. and that i miss her and love her and sorry for all the wrongs i've done. and that i'll be back home in no time :)

3 comments:

rara kinanti said...

your note teared me out. i miss my mom, and how i wish i can go home=(

m e t h a said...

i know ya ra. same here,
especially when its XMAS :(

StolenSummer said...

she makes me realize that i am more than just a person. i am God's given for her. i am her most valuable treasure. she risked her life for getting me into the world. she was in that life and death situation when she introduced me to the world.

dud, this whole paragraph is true. after all of my mom's sacrifices for me, i'm taking a semester off from my study accompanying her in situation when she's gonna need me most. i was being selfish re-thinking whether to do this or not. but last night i re-read her old diary (dedicated for me when i was 10 months old), and it made me realize that what ive done for her in my almost 21 years of life actually mean nothing compared to what she's given for me.

i'm thinking to buy her something for this year's mother's day. any thought?